A look at the general mish-mash from a guy too big to be in it...so he spends most of his time on his couch. Segments include: Cocktails of Note, Must hear movie commentaries, books I've never read (but everyone else did), and "God...What is the deal?"
Not everyone enjoys the romantic comedy. Perhaps no other genre has given us so many cliches, or produced so many mediocre or bad movies (The Bounty Hunter, The Ugly Truth, Fool's Gold, Maid in Manhattan, Nine Months, Forces of Nature). What's that Sci-Fi/Fantasy Genre? You have something to say? Zardoz, Krull, Conan the Destroyer, Ice Pirates, Eragon, The Brother's Grimm. Excellent rebuttal.
It seems that all you need are two attractive, likable actors on the screen at the same time, a few cliched obstacles (she's a movie star, he works too hard, he's a prince she's a scullery maid), and a wise-crackin' sidekick and BOOM! RomCom.
Basically execs think that this:
Plus this:
With a bit of this:
MUST equal this:
When in fact it usually equals this:
(Ahh, Gigli, 8 years later and there are still jokes to be made. You've given so much joy... unintentionally, but still)
Perhaps more than any other genre, the RomCom is truly about capturing lightning in a bottle, and that's what Donald Petrie, director of How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days seems to emphasize.
By all standards this is a good commentary. A good commentary does not simply describe what's happening onscreen (most commentaries do this). It offers a mix of personal anecdotes, insider information, and a justification of technical or design choices.
Petrie never seems to think he's making Citizen Kane, and while he can come across a bit egotistical (He specifically had his directing credit card come on-screen with the words "ultimate orgasm.") it appears to be done in self-deprecating style. He points out the gaffes and editing flubs himself (at one point McConaughey and Goldberg magically switch coffee mugs).
One of the great things about him is that he always gives credit where credit is due. He specifically venerates the wonderful New York Extras that come in with their own characters prepped and ready to go. It's true. Watch the elevator or lobby scenes in 10 Days and you'll see that no one is phoning it in. Well, there's that guy on the phone but...
However he does have pension for bad puns (at one moment he points out the "Gratuitous Sax" in the film...it's a saxophone player on a boat.), but then I just made a phone pun so I guess I shouldn't throw stones.
I realized that I might actual learn something from this commentary when Petrie, immediately after the credits, began talking about the set design. I love set design. I think it's so important to the world of the film. A half-hearted or cheap set design can destroy a film, as much as a well made set design makes it. Would Blade Runner be the icon of American sci-fi without the sets and art direction? I don't think so. While it's easy to notice, and be impressed by, set design in fantasy and even action fare (c'mon Ken Adams' Volcano set in the Bond film You Only Live Twice is the epitome of iconic), how often do you think about it in the RomCom? But the spaces in which we meet our Boy and Girl tell us exactly what we're getting in for: a battle of the sexes. There are soft lights, plants, and tissues all over the offices round curves of the magazine offices Andy (Kate Hudson) works at...
...while Ben's (Matthew McConaughey) advertising firm is a myriad of cool greens with hard corners and sports gear.
The big thing that Petrie does on a shoot is letting his actors act. He rarely says cut, sometimes to their chagrin, but as professionals, they keep acting. Many of the moments in this film that are "sweet" happen when Kate Hudson is acting off the cuff. The banter between Adam Goldberg and Thomas Lennon (Matthew McConaughey's buddies) is mostly their own on-set improvising. Often times, food was flicked at actors without their being told it was coming. He would tell one actor one thing and the other would be kept in the dark. But, Petrie always let his actors work, within the framework of the script, which is probably why How to Lose a Guy in 10 days is a better than average RomCom.
Cocktails of Note: Special St. Patrick's day Edition
Ah yes, that glorious holiday where Americans use a vaguely religious symbol as an excuse to drink copious amounts of alcohol. Or, as I like to call it, Thursday.
In honor of this fine Holiday where everyone is Irish for a day, I present to you three drinks to get you through the day.
1. Irish Coffee
What better way to start your St. Patrick's Day than with a stimulating coffee...with booze in it. For those of us who like to get our drink on early, here is an excellent Irish Coffee Recipe.
4 ounces hot coffee 2 ounces Irish Whiskey 2 ounces heavy cream 1 tsp granulated sugar whip cream to top
Pour the coffee into an Irish Coffee glass. Add the sugar and stir. (With me so far?) Add whiskey. Stir. Here's the tricky part. Pour the cream, slowly and carefully over the back of a teaspoon or barspoon, so that it floats on top of the coffee. This is hard. It might take a couple of tries. Then top with whipped cream and a few coffee beans for looks. Drink. Enjoy.
When imbibing with this early morning cocktail, I'd recommend listening to one of the greatest bands to come out of Ireland: U2.
This rock band has so many albums spanning almost a quarter century of Rock n'Roll, how do you pick one? For morning, before you're really ready to rock out for the day, I'd say go with All That You Can't Leave Behind You.
The Opening Track says it all, Beautiful Day. It's energizing without desperately trying to get you on your feet. It's simply life affirming. Then, when you really need the motivation, Elevation kicks in. And as you sip your coffee, feel free to think about your life during Kite and In a Little While. Wonderful melodies about taking life a little slower.
Yes, beer can be a cocktail (no, adding green food coloring doesn't count.), and a tasty one at that. 6 ounces of ale 6 ounces of stout
Carefully pour the ale into a Pilsner or Beer Mug, trying not raise too much head (I'll wait for snickering at the word "head" to die down, the I'll say "really?"). In other words, tilt the glass. Then, slowly pour the stout into the ale. Wow it floats.
Two or three of these with a fine Irish Stew is highly recommended.
For your listening pleasure I present my favorite Irish "folk" drinking band: Gaelic Storm and their album What's the Rumpus?
This band is not only musically talented, but jumps between humorous drinking songs (Darcy's Donkey) and beautifully human love songs with genuine ache (Human to a God).
My personal favorite ditty is in the video below (someone has way to much time on their hands.)
Awesome.
3. The Shamrock Martini
This is bar-none the hardest choice. Many people (Matt, I'm talking to you) will hate me for contaminating their precious whiskey (Sorry Dad), but this is about cocktails, and as I'm a martini lover I had to mention this minty, smoky drink. Plus, could I really do a St. Patrick's day post without adding something green?
Put all the ingredients in a martini shaker with cubed ice. Shake for 30 seconds. Pour into a martini glass and enjoy. (Warning: Not for everyone. Very strong.)
For those of you who are more purists, I give you my grandfather's cocktail...
The Old Fashioned
1 sugar cube (very important that it's a cube) 3-5 dashes of bitters 1 teaspoon waters 3 ounces whiskey 1 orange slice 1 maraschino cherry ice cubes
In an old fashion glass muddle the bitters and water into the sugar cube. (I recommend a good wooden muddler, but the back of a spoon will work fine.) Almost fill the glass with ice cubes and add the whiskey. Stir a bit. Garnish with the orange slice and the cherry.
Now this is a drinking album, by a great non-Irish, Irish band:Flogging Molly. Their album Drunken Lullabies is easily the best rockin' Irish-punk-folk-drinking compilation of songs you might ever hear (sorry Dropkick Murphys). This album starts off strong and never stops. It takes the occasional step back to let you catch your breath (If I Ever Leave This World Alive), but if you don't feel Irish after listening to What's Left of the Flag or Rare Ould Times there is something wrong with you.
God what is the deal: 10 things every Woman should do
This will be my most controversial post ever. I'm sure that about 15% of the women who see the title will not even read this because I'm a man and have no right, what-so-ever, to tell women what to do, especially when it comes to things that are "women orientated." They may be correct. (In truth I would say that there are 15% of men who would never read a blog from a woman written for men on what men should do. Those men have a name: Pig.)
But there are 2 points that I would like to make:
1. My goal with these posts is to encourage people toward adulthood. We live in a society that worships youth, encourages holding onto adolescence, and refuses to grow up with such fervency that Peter Pan looks at us and says "DAMN, you're immature." I'm not trying to put women in a box, or limit women in any way. Some women may not enjoy the things I recommend. Do them anyway! At least once. (Not every man will enjoy smoking that pipe.) That's what these "10 Things" posts are about.
2. Women ask men all the time, "What would make you happy?" A decent man's instinctive answer is "Make yourself happy." For whatever reason, women think that a man, with his simple brain, has an ulterior motive or desire. We do not!!! If you are happy, and your man can sit in his bar-ca lounger relaxing for 45 minutes, then he is ecstatic. It is in our interest that you be happy. (I am not saying that a man should not put forth the effort to make a woman happy, but that is the subject of another blog.)
Finally, being a woman isn't easy. We live in a world that pressures women to "want it all, have it all, and have it be perfect," and if you can't... well, then you somehow don't live up to some bizarre societal view that is really a corrupted reaction to the bizarre societal view that women shouldn't have to "worry your pretty little head." So I offer these 10 things as ways to get back to femininity, to remind yourself who you are as a woman, and to encourage you to take your time getting to them. You don't have to have it all, right now.
(The video below has a relevant song from the musical Baby)
Without further ado, I present the list of 10 things every Female should do as a Woman, part 1.
1.Crochet or Knit something - There's something incredibly rewarding about making something with your own two hands. Even if you've never knitted or crocheted there are plenty of books, videos, and people that will help you get started. And most people start by knitting a scarf.
A scarf is something beautiful that you made yourself, and that makes you feel better about yourself (I mean come on; I'm a man and I appreciate the power of a good accessory). Additionally (and perhaps most importantly), knitting and crocheting is something you can do socially. Get a bunch of girlfriends together and work on your projects and talk to each other. I recommend doing this with friends and not with fellow knitters, people you're already comfortable with. The crochet/knit circle is a place where you can help rejuvenate each other. We all go through energy cycles on a daily basis (this is connected to hormone cycles. Check it out.) For men, it's a pretty easy cycle of Work then Relaxation (this is why the last thing he wants is to talk about his day when he gets home. If you really want to take advantage of his cycles, ask him to accomplish something for you first thing in the morning, when his testosterone level is the highest. It'll probably be done by lunch.) For women, it's much more difficult to get energized by relaxing, because, typically, a woman's energizing cycle is a process of Nurture than BEING Nurtured. Hence a knitting/crocheting circle: a place to vent, to laugh, to weep, to encourage, and to make fun clothes that keep you warm.
2. Keep a Diary for at least 6 weeks - Why six weeks? It gives you a goal that's not insurmountable, and it's long enough to teach you to make it habit, if you so desire. A diary allows you to organize your thoughts. How many times have you been upset about something and not really known what it was or why? How many times have you been arguing about dishes and ended up bringing up the futility of the bourgeoisie overthrow during the French Revolution, which only led to greater blood shed by the installation of a tiny dictator (or something less specific)? That's because women are like spaghetti. At least their thoughts are, and spaghetti sauce represents a problem, an issue, or a person. If there's a pile of spaghetti on a plate, can the sauce only touch one noodle? No. Because everything is connected. A diary helps you express yourself. There's no judgment, there's no advice that will be offered by your significant other, there's just you. Remind yourself of who you were during the day. What things about yourself did you like? What things are you ashamed of (DO NOT CONCENTRATE ON THIS)? Be honest. No one's going to read this but you and God, and God probably knows how you're feeling anyway.
3. Get Your version of the Little Black Dress - Take the time to get a dress and coordinate it into an outfit that makes you feel sexy. While the "little black dress" should be a staple of any woman's wardrobe, it should be noted that not all dresses or women are the same. Not every woman is best flattered by black. While, black hides many sins, it might not be your BEST color. Additionally, pay attention to the cuts of the dress. Some women should draw attention to their face, others to the bust, or hips, or legs (without being obvious). To this end, it's important to take an honest stock of your body. What features do you like? This is hard. Women, in general (yes I am making a generalization; you might be the exception...however, you're probably not), have a difficult time saying what they like about their appearance. This exercise will force you to do that. Find something. Don't compare yourself to air-brushed movie-stars or the teenage girl with baby skin who doesn't have enough wisdom to realize that "like" is neither an adjective, verb, or noun. Just, look at yourself.
Above, there are three different body types (ladies of Mad Men). Note the blonde's dress accentuates her thin waist and legs, while the red-head's dress draws your attention to her (a-hem) ample bust and strikingly symmetrical face, and the brunette's dress wraps around to show off a lovely hour-glass figure. Remember that what you wear can change your life, and there are plenty of things out there not to wear.
4. Exercise on a regular basis (at least 3 times a week) - Find a routine that you enjoy and do it. If that's walking/jogging for a mile or two, doing a yoga routine (follow the link), jazzercise, weights, salsa dancing, you name it; find it and do it. It should be something that pushes you a bit. You should be tired or relaxed when you're done. The goal is to feel like you've accomplished something challenging. Do not exercise to lose weight. You won't. Weight loss comes largely from Diet. Exercising will help, but it doesn't help weight loss alone (all those products on TV come with a diet plan; that's how they are legally allowed to make all those outrageous claims). The point of exercising is to release endorphines (sex does this too, so if you want to include your mate in your workout routines, he probably won't object.) These endorphines help you feel better about yourself, not to mention the fact that you're taking care of yourself. As a woman, with your busy life it's important to take time out to tend to your needs. Remember that if all you do is nurture others, without allowing yourself to be nurtured, you'll be drained and cranky. Exercise is a good way to nurture yourself. Also, your husband will appreciate that you're taking care of yourself. He will think, for some reason, that you want to keep yourself in shape for his benefit (Men are stupid. We just are), and if he has any decency in him, he will be grateful for it. Your love life will benefit... and I'm not talking about sex.
5. Have a Spa Day (at least once a year) - I figured I better get back on your good side, oh "Female Reader" so here's something you should do that you would be hard pressed to get angry with me for. Go to a spa. Get a massage. Get a mani-peti. Get a facial. Drink water with cucumbers and lemon in it. Get pampered and refreshed. If you really know what you're doing, call your man and make him draw you a bubble bath, with rose petals, bath salts, and candles. If he doesn't know how to do this (we are intimidated by all the stuff you girls put in water); spend a day and teach him, with the promise that he can get in the bath with you if he does it right. Remember, that you're a woman, and while you might not have it all, a day like this can make you feel like you do. Save up though because it can be pricey (although if you get creative you can do this on the cheap).
6. Live by Yourself - Wait, not Emily Dickinson "closed off from the world" by yourself...
More MTM by yourself. Still social, but with a place to go to that doesn't have a hundred cats. At some point have a taste of independence. Let every decision about how you want to live rest on your shoulders. For those of you who went from your parent's house to marriage, take a week, rent a house, and be alone. I feel as though most women regret not taking the opportunity to "be their own woman." So be it, even for a little while. You'll discover a lot about yourself: Does being alone bother you so much that you're scared of being that girl who has to be social all time? Do you love being by yourself so much, that you're thinking Sartre was right when he said, "Hell is other people?" (Sartre is a jack-ass who died alone by the way). How do you deal with the bills? What do you like to do when no one makes demands on you? What was that noise outside the window? Good thing you took those shotgun firing lessons and keep a baseball bat next to the bed. Make living by yourself a voyage of self-discovery (could I be more cheesy? Probably.)
7. Read a classic book that you wouldn't normally read - Reading a book is one of the most rejuvinating and stimulating things you can do alone. (See, if I was writing this for men there would be snickering because I said "stimulating" and "alone" in the same sentence.) Unlike television and movies, largely passive mediums, you are engaged with the author who is taking you on a journey with them. They require something of you, and it's usually for a long time. The most memorable books are not the ones we cruise through in 45 minutes. Let's face it ladies, don't you want someone to take their time? (I'm going to hell.) Reading something that you wouldn't normally be drawn to, will tax you intellectually, and make you ask, "Why is this a classic? Why has this story spoken to the souls of so many for so long?" "How do I feel about this story?" You don't have to like it, just let yourself experience the give and take of being told a story, that many others have enjoyed. Plus, you'll have something interesting to say at your next cocktail party. Besides, if it's raining outside and you're on the couch with the heat on or a roaring fire, a cup of cocao or glass of wine, and an interesting book, does it get much better? Finally, I don't want all you ladies reading every Jane Austen book ever written and saying that you've read the classics. If you like Austen, read Dickens; if you like Dickens, read Kipling. If you read Verne; read Austen. Although if you haven't read Wuthering Heights... Read that.
8. Perfect a recipe - Every woman should have that thing that you make, which you love and everyone else loves. It doesn't have to be a cheese soufflet. It can be as simple as pepperoni rolls or macaroni & cheese. Even if you cook nothing else. Even if the very thought of a frying pan scares you or believe the idea of a woman cooking is somehow an outdated notion of social norms. Hey, everybody has to eat. It should be something that you like, and that you enjoy watching others take pleasure in as well. There's something about food that brings people together (for better or worse, but the optimist in me says better). When people are together, then, hopefully, there's love. Plus, whenever there's a pot luck you won't have to spend days agonizing over what to bring.
9. Create a space for you - We men have begun taking back a room of the house. We call it the "Man cave." We decorate it how we like, and fill it up with the things we want to surround us (mostly beer and big-ass televisions). Women, I know you decorate the living room, the bedroom, the kid's bedrooms (until they get older and go through that phase where everything has to be Justin Bieber...and they're a 17 year old guy). But these are rooms for you and others. You need a room that's just yours. One that you designed and created. It can be garden, a studio, a library, a craft room, whatever you want; so long as it's a sanctuary for you and your thoughts. It doesn't have to be a whole room. It can be a simple space or area. If you live alone, it can be the bedroom. But make choices about what goes in there. Fill it with your favorite things or objects that inspire you. Try to spend 20 minutes a day there, maybe right before you go to bed. (If it's a craft room, don't worry about always doing a craft. Write in your diary.) It should be a place that calms you; that brings you peace. Claim a space for yourself. Men are doing it. Why can't you?
10. Plan a trip to a cultural center - It doesn't have to be Paris. It can be Topeka, KS. The point is to immerse yourself in a culture and way of living that's not your own. Again, you're making the decisions about where to go and what to see, but don't forget to talk to the people. How do they relate to the world we're in differently than you? What does that tell you about yourself? This trip will help you be independent. You're, making all the decisions. You don't know the territory. People might speak a different language. But you'll have to make your own way. Every woman should learn something about the world. If you don't, trust me you'll regret it (maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow... blah, blah, blah)
I recently received comment from a friend of mine, claiming that my blog "practically has a penis." Huzzah! I cannot say how proud I am to have received such a comment. (My father is undoubtedly more relieved as I was not much of an athlete, wrote poetry, and wore tights in plays more often then I care to admit).
However, in an effort to appeal more to the fairer sex, I have decided to dedicate this post to the Ladies. (Sorry, if you're looking for the first cocktail, I'll get to the Sazerac eventually). And I thought that I would use the ultimate Woman Drink (not "girlie"). It's a drink fit for the Goddess of Love: Aphrodite or Venus, according to the Romans. (BTW, bonus points for anyone who comments on the origination of this post's title):
The Birth of Venus
Equipment: Cocktail Shaker, Martini glass
Ingredients:
1 1/2 oz. to 2 oz. of Vodka
1 oz. of Triple Sec
1 oz. Peach Juice
1 tsp. Blue Curacao
1 oz. Champagne
Combine vodka, liqueurs, and juice in the mixer with ice. Shake for a count of 30. Strain into a Matini glass, but don't fill the glass to the brim. Pop that Champagne (makes sure it's chilled) and pour into the cocktail. Your cocktail should have a beautiful sea-green hue.
Get a fellow goddess and enjoy.
For a real party with a good note, I recommend enjoying my latest enjoyable muse: Florence and the Machine, specifically, their album Lungs.
My music-guru friend Jim said it best when refering to "Dog Days are Over" the albums 1st track:
"You'd think, with as often as I've heard this song, that I'd be sick of it. But I'm not. That's how good this song is."
But between charging anthems, like the albums second track "Rabbit Heart (Raise it Up)" and haunting intros, like that of "Between Two Lungs," lay the themes of mortality, love, and the gift that is the challenge of life. With strong female vocals that never drift into anger (a la Alanis Morisette, although her album Under Rug Swept would also make a find "note" with this cocktail), it's the perfect album to enjoy with the Birth of Venus.
Of course, you could always drink a bunch of them and try to find a deeper meaning in this tribute to Aphrodite from Hecules: The Legendary Journeys. (Some people have WAY too much time on their hands)
Cocktails of Note: A "Little Water"
goes a Long way
So, obviously, I missed a few blog posts, and am trying to correct this grievous error. So it's time to get back into the swing of things with the cocktail which sits best in the "Martini" glass: The Martini... which, nowadays, means any drink you put in a martini glass... It's a vicious cycle.
Before I begin, I would like to say a few words about my favorite spirit: Vodka.
Vodka comes from a derivative of the Russian word voda meaning "little water." That's right, to the Russians vodka is water. Technically, any clear, distilled liquor that goes from the distillery into the bottle is technically, a vodka (silver rum, silver tequila, gin... all technically part of the larger "vodka" family). Typically, however, vodka is a high proof spirit (70 proof at the low end) distilled from grain or potatoes (although in Turkey they use beets) and is filtered through vegetable charcoal. The better vodkas are filtered through "activated" charcoal (processed charcoal so that is extremely porous, thus increasing its surface area and its adsorption capacity) or very fine quartz.
Activated Charcoal, magnified
Quartz
The thing about Vodka is it easily absorbs any flavor you mix it with, but more on that another time. Let's get on to the Cocktails of Note:
The Vodka Martini: The Vodka Martini is the classic cocktail (though not the first, according to legend, but that will be spoken of in the next cocktail entry).
The Vodka Martini is technically made with
2 1/2 ounces Vodka 1 1/2 teaspoons of Dry Vermouth an olive or a lemon twist for garnish
Place the Vodka and the Vermouth in a Cocktail shaker with cubed ice. Shake for a count of 30. Why 30? To chill the vodka and vermouth, but also to melt a sufficient amount of ice into water. The Vodka Martini should be about 20% water.
Now, I like a Martini quite dry, so a few drops of vermouth are all I ask for. And I prefer the olive (always use an odd number of olives) over the twist.
This particular Martini is high versatile so I recommend it just about any course, even a citrusy dessert.
Because this a is a cocktail of Note I've decided to recommend appropriate drinking music. For this classic, by all means pick up just about anything song by the members of the Rat Pack: Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Or Sammy Davis Jr.
